Awful, Awful Puns and Jokes to Make You Laugh Like a Hyena

Our primary business, of course, is t-shirts, tank tops, hoodies, sweatshirts, infant bodysuits, and coffee mugs.  But we like to have fun also.  Enjoy these puns.

AWFUL, AWFUL PUNS

A pun is the simplest form of wit.  A bun is the simplest form of wheat.

A hippopotamus and a Zippo weigh about the same.  Well, the Zippo is a little lighter.

I memorized every letter of the alphabet, except one.  I don't know why.    

Fish Ish Delish Coffee MugRide the Tide Women's Tank Top with SeahorseBack Scratches on Request T-shirt for men women and children.  Many colors and sizes and styles.

We couldn't remember his blood type.  As he slipped away, he said "be positive."  

My leaf blower is broken.  It sucks.

My pet lobster got a shell phone.  He won't let me use it.  He's shellfish.

The doctor said I could have an operation or live with a neck brace.  I took the neck brace and never looked back.

I got fired for taking a day off at the calendar factory.

A Mexican magician was counting.  He said "uno, dos," but then he vanished without a trace.

Robin Redbreast T-shirt spectacular coloring Many styles, sizes and colors.Duck, duck, goose is on one side.  Quack, quack, honk is on the reverse.Bless your heart coffee mug tea mug.  Also on our t-shirts, crop tops, tank tops, infant bodysuits, etc.

Lawyers lie so much they can't sleep at night.  They just toss and turn.  They lie on one side and then on the other.

A termite walked into a bar, looked around, and said "where is the bar tender?"

The Swiss Army isn't so special, but the flag is a big plus.

Dressage is the message horse t-shirt.  Men, Women, Unisex, Children, Infants.  Many sizes, colors, and styles.Blazing pink lily bodysuit for infants.  This design is also on our clothing for men, women, and children.  Many colors, styles, and sizes.Pink Rose T-shirt for ladies.  This is the famous Emma Rose.  Also available on our clothing and mugs for men, women, and children.

What do you call a super articulate dinosaur?  A Thesaurus.

What kind of cats like to go bowling?  Alley cats.

I Googled lighters, but all I found were matches.

Funny T-shirt with Front on the front and Back on the back.  In men's, ladies', unisex, youth, and infant clothing.Funny T-shirt with Front on the front and Back on the back.  In men's, ladies', unisex, youth, and infant clothing.

What do you say to a thirsty dinosaur? Tea, Rex?

Napoleon didn't design his coat, but he had a hand in it.

Did you hear about the guy who hates hot dogs?  He fears the wurst.

God Bless America on the front of the T-shirt and Land of the Free and Home of the Brave on the back.God Bless America on the front of the T-shirt and Land of the Free and Home of the Brave on the back.

Who invented King Arthur’s round table?  Sir Cumference.

I bought a computer to help me sleep.  Turns out there's a nap for that.

What do you call two rabbits in a forest fire?  Hot cross bunnies.

 Rose of Sharon Men's Tank Top Hibiscus flower Many Colors, Sizes, and Styles for men, women and children.  And mugs also.God, Country, Bacon T-shirt in men's, women's, unisex, youth, and infant sizes.  Many colors and styles.Horse Rider Haute Ecole Coffee Mug also available as T-shirts, tank tops, hoodies, etc. for men, women, and children.

I lost my case so I sued the airlines.  I lost my case again.

I wanted to learn to drive an automatic, but I couldn't find a manual.

The semicolon lost his court case.  He was given two consecutive sentences.

The Famous Grumpy Buzzard T-shirt.  It has a turkey buzzard on the front and the words Grumpy Buzzard on the back.  We have styles for everyone.The Famous Grumpy Buzzard T-shirt.  It has a turkey buzzard on the front and the words Grumpy Buzzard on the back.  We have styles for everyone.

Atoms never tell the truth.  They make up everything.

I contributed to the Atheist Society, but first I made sure it was a non-prophet.

 

Find Mr. Shazz at MrShazz.com