Awful, Awful Puns and Jokes to Make You Laugh Like a Hyena
Our primary business, of course, is t-shirts, tank tops, hoodies, sweatshirts, infant bodysuits, and coffee mugs. But we like to have fun also. Enjoy these puns.
AWFUL, AWFUL PUNS
A pun is the simplest form of wit. A bun is the simplest form of wheat.
A hippopotamus and a Zippo weigh about the same. Well, the Zippo is a little lighter.
I memorized every letter of the alphabet, except one. I don't know why.
We couldn't remember his blood type. As he slipped away, he said "be positive."
My leaf blower is broken. It sucks.
My pet lobster got a shell phone. He won't let me use it. He's shellfish.
The doctor said I could have an operation or live with a neck brace. I took the neck brace and never looked back.
I got fired for taking a day off at the calendar factory.
A Mexican magician was counting. He said "uno, dos," but then he vanished without a trace.
Lawyers lie so much they can't sleep at night. They just toss and turn. They lie on one side and then on the other.
A termite walked into a bar, looked around, and said "where is the bar tender?"
The Swiss Army isn't so special, but the flag is a big plus.
What do you call a super articulate dinosaur? A Thesaurus.
What kind of cats like to go bowling? Alley cats.
I Googled lighters, but all I found were matches.
What do you say to a thirsty dinosaur? Tea, Rex?
Napoleon didn't design his coat, but he had a hand in it.
Did you hear about the guy who hates hot dogs? He fears the wurst.
Who invented King Arthur’s round table? Sir Cumference.
I bought a computer to help me sleep. Turns out there's a nap for that.
What do you call two rabbits in a forest fire? Hot cross bunnies.
I lost my case so I sued the airlines. I lost my case again.
I wanted to learn to drive an automatic, but I couldn't find a manual.
The semicolon lost his court case. He was given two consecutive sentences.
Atoms never tell the truth. They make up everything.
I contributed to the Atheist Society, but first I made sure it was a non-prophet.